Saturday, December 31, 2011

The Measure of Hope


As we prepare to ring in 2012, I am looking back and thinking of all the things that Break the Grey did in 2011. How have we put hands and feet to our mission statement – to share the love and hope of Jesus Christ by serving, supporting, and encouraging families facing childhood cancer or other life-altering illnesses – for the last 12 months?
On Tuesday, February 15, 2011, we served approximately 20 families on the childhood cancer unit at Riley Children’s Hospital in Indianapolis, IN. We took gifts for the patients and their siblings, gift baskets for the parents, and food. We hung out, laughed, ate, played, and prayed with and for these precious families.
Break the Grey Party at Riley Children's Hospital - February 2011
 And then we did it again. On Friday, April 8, 2011, we served another 10-15 families on 7 West – the children’s kidney and cancer floor at Kosair Children’s Hospital in Louisville, KY. Again, we hung out, laughed, ate, played, prayed, and even painted pottery with families living in the middle of devastating childhood illness. 
But not before we stood up and spoke out. Break the Grey was a featured ministry in a chapel service at Anderson University in Anderson, IN on Tuesday, March 1, 2011. I had the awesome privilege of speaking to approximately 2,000 college students, faculty, and staff and making them aware of the reality of childhood cancer. More than that, I had the opportunity to demonstrate what is being done about it and to challenge them to do something not just with us, but also with and for the Kingdom of God at large. 
Break the Grey in chapel at Anderson University - March 2011
 In the summer, we hosted our first ever Christmas in July party – in August! The party was postponed due to construction, but Santa and Mrs. Clause made an appearance just the same. We did this event on 7 East, or the Outpatient Medical Observation (OMO) unit, at Kosair Children’s Hospital. This unit is where children in treatment for cancer, kidney disease, and a variety of other conditions go for chemo, dialysis, spinal taps, bone marrow aspirations, infusions, blood tests, and other procedures and treatments. Many children are there all day with nothing to do. We wanted to change that – to “break the grey” of a long treatment day, if you will. Santa – sporting flip flops, swimming trunks, and sun glasses, and accompanied by Mrs. Clause – brought some Christmas spirit: cheer, distraction, and presents to approximately 10 kids that day. (Unfortunately, the only pictures are on Santa’s cell phone.)
And then the holidays – Thanksgiving and Christmas. As in years past, we partnered with one of our families, the Smiths, to provide gift cards to families undergoing pediatric bone marrow transplants around Thanksgiving.  Then for Christmas, we were contacted by one of our families who had some needs for Christmas. Break the Grey volunteers responded and threw a Christmas party to show love to and provide for this family. 
Break the Grey Christmas Party - December 2011
 But Break the Grey is not about the events – what we do or what we say. It’s about loving people. It’s about the families whom we meet every single day.
In 2011, we loved and we lost. On Friday, February 11, 2011, 4-year-old Susana Whitaker finished her race and was made forever cancer-free in the presence of her Savior at 12:45 pm. 
Susana, age 4, praising Jesus - she met Him in February 2011
 Later, the Patrick family contacted us. 14-year-old Nick Patrick had an inoperable, malignant brain tumor. We sent care packages to him and his family in Georgia, and grieved with them when Nick went to be with Jesus on Sunday, August 28, 2011 at 7:16 am. Another southern family, the Thomasons, lost their 10-year-old son, Evan, to neuroblastoma after a 5-year battle on Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 6:40 am. 
Nick, age 14, with his family before he went to heaven in August 2011
 There were some triumphs too in our Break the Grey family. Two of our kiddos, Noah and Adam, completed treatment for cancer in 2011. Noah completed over 3 years of treatment for acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and Adam completed 18 months or so of treatment for medulloblastoma, a brain tumor. In October, Break the Grey provided “end-of-chemo” gifts to Adam and his family as a way to celebrate with them. And Michelle, whom we met a couple of years ago at one of our parties at Kosair Children’s Hospital, underwent a successful kidney transplant on November 1, 2011. 
Adam in his "I did it!" shirt just after his last chemo treatment
 In 2011, we did 4 major events. We made contact with roughly 45 families and tried to convey to them how much Jesus loves them. We had 3 families lose children. We had 3 of our children reach major medical milestones.
In some respects, looking at the above list, we did a lot. In others, we didn’t do enough.  The needs are enormous, and there were times in 2011 when our hearts broke and tears fell from our eyes because our love was bigger than our resources.
But how do you measure it, really? What really counts? Something tells me that numbers cannot accurately convey all that happened this past year. How do you measure these things: relationships, love, grief, courage, faith, or hope?
Maybe, for some things, words and numbers simply will not suffice. Maybe, for some things, actions and experiences are what count.
Maybe, at the end of the day – or the year, in our case – it’s not about how many families we served, contacted, connected with, supported, encouraged, loved, or didn’t; it’s not about how many events we threw, or didn’t; it’s not about how big our volunteer base is, or isn’t; it’s not about how much money is in our budget, or isn’t.
Maybe it’s about the families that we served, contacted, connected with, supported, encouraged, and loved – not how many. Maybe it’s about the prayers that were said both with and for our families. Maybe it’s the tears shed – in joy, in grief, and in solidarity with and for parents and children. Maybe it’s the willingness to serve demonstrated by our volunteers, no matter what form it takes: praying, hugging, shopping, organizing, wrapping, serving, holding, crying, reading, writing, speaking, giving, loving, smiling, laughing, listening, etc.
But mostly, I think it was about three things: faith, hope, and love.
Faith in a God who is good and who loves us beyond the capacity of human language to describe, and faith that when we can’t see His hand we can trust His heart – that He is with us and for us.
Hope, rooted in the cross of Jesus Christ, that screams in the darkest of places, “Yes – this is pain,” and “Yes – this hurts more than words can describe,” and “Yes – I would rather be anyplace but here,” and yet – “You, God, are still Good. You are still Glorious. You are still Awesome. You are still Deserving of Praise.” It is a hope that can stare down any moment. It is a hope that can celebrate. And it is a hope that can be fully present and alive - secure in the knowledge that because of the cross, Jesus wins in the end. And so do we.
And lastly – most importantly – love. A love for God and for people that cannot be quenched or squelched. A love that is big and loud. A love that moves from heart and head to hands and feet – beyond warm fuzzies to the nitty gritty. A love that will stop at nothing to make itself – the ultimate love found in the saving message of Jesus Christ – known: yes, even in the darkest of places and the hardest of moments.
My hope and my prayer – my “resolution,” if you will – for Break the Grey for 2012 is that our ministry will not measure itself in numbers. Perhaps not even in words, but instead will be driven by faith, by hope, and by love.
Oh, God, let it be true of us.
“Let the saving love of Christ be the measure of our lives.” – Chris Tomlin
Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,
Sarah

Friday, December 23, 2011

Emmanuel - God With Us

Last night was our Break the Grey Christmas Party. One of our families contacted me a few weeks ago requesting some help with Christmas. I let some of our volunteers know, and it culminated last night as we got together to finish up some Christmas shopping for our family and get everything organized.  Our volunteers went above and beyond what was asked and donated toys, gift cards, money, food, clothes, stockings, wrapping supplies, and time. It was the Kingdom of God - love and hope - personified. Christmas in action.

I've said it before, but Christmas is my favorite time of year. I just love the Advent season. Advent implies waiting for something expectantly and hopefully - our Emmanuel. God with us and for us. I just love that part of Christmas: that the boundless, limitless, timeless God who named the stars and knows them all by name considered our plight and climbed into time and space and human skin and lived with us and for us and then ultimately saved us. And that God - that Emmanuel - came to us last night. He was with us.

He was with us in the volunteers who took lists and money from my hands and fought traffic, cold, and rain to find the best gifts possible for this family.


He was with us in the generous amounts of gift cards and monetary donations that were given to help off-set the financial burden of a life-altering illness.

He was with us in one of our volunteers who, immediately after walking in the door, was sent back out again in the cold and rain on a hunt for candy for stockings - and did so with an eager spirit, a generous heart, and a smile on her face. [Then she wrote about it here - check it out!]

He was with us in the time we spent just hanging out, talking, snacking on hot chocolate and Christmas cookies, and simply loving each other with our words and our presence.

He was with us in the conversations about kidneys, medications, side effects, G-tubes, anesthesia, consultations, transplants, vomit, and lines.

He was with us in the mom who hugged my neck and cried.

He was with us as we loaded everything into their car - and packed it completely full.

God is here with us. He is love, hope, joy and peace, and He came for us. Hallelujah, we've been found!

Let hope rise. Let love be the difference.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah



Thursday, December 15, 2011

Christmas Party

As Christmas draws closer, I hope you are all soaking in the wonder of the Advent season. It is always one of my favorite times of year! This year, Break the Grey has the awesome opportunity to bring the love, hope, joy, and peace of Christ associated with this season to one of our families - and you can help!

Break the Grey is hosting a Christmas party on Thursday, December 22 from 5:30 - 8:00 pm in the Corner Room at Graceland Baptist Church. We are getting together to bless one of our families and help them with some needs for Christmas. As we serve, we will get the chance to just hang out, enjoy community together, and celebrate the season. There will be Christmas cookies, hot chocolate, and music as we work.

If you can't make it to our party, please be in prayer for this family, as well as all of our other families. This time of year can be particularly tough, between expenses, new diagnoses, continuing with treatment as usual, making hard decisions, hoping for a better new year, or trying to celebrate the season without a much-loved child.

Please also be in prayer for our ministry. We are coming up on another busy season. Once Christmas is past, we will shift our focus to the upcoming annual parties in January and February at Kosair Children's Hospital and Riley Children's Hospital. Preparations are already underway for these parties and we are becoming excited!

As always, thanks for your support and I hope to see you at our Christmas party!

O come, o come, Emmanuel.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Give Love

I hope you all had a blessed Thanksgiving and are now enjoying the Christmas season! Christmas is always one of my favorite times of year!

Since I last wrote about a week ago, I have been made aware of an opportunity that we [Break the Grey] have to share the love and hope of Jesus Christ with one of our families in a very tangible way this Christmas.

I don't want to violate their privacy and give out too many details, but if you are interested in partnering with us to meet the needs of one of our families this Christmas, please e-mail me through the contact us page on our website here.

Don't forget about the other ways you can serve this Christmas season, listed in our last update! Please also continue to pray for all of our families, especially those who are facing the holidays without their child. As always, thanks for your support!

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Praise God from Whom all Blessings Flow.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I've meant to write before now, but just haven't been able to find the time. First, some praise reports from some of our families over the past few weeks:

Michelle Schmitt had her kidney transplant on November 1! Her new kidney came from one of her best friends: a living, non-related donor. What a picture of the Gospel and Jesus' selfless love for us! Both Michelle and her donor, Crystal, are recovering well. Congratulations, guys! Happy Thanksgiving, indeed! Check out her story in the Southeast Outlook here.

Also congratulations to Adam Stoflet! He officially finished chemo, overcame another off-treatment hurdle/ICU stay, and is now, we hope and pray, on his way to a full recovery! His latest MRI a few days ago was No Evidence of Disease (NED - no cancer)! Please continue to pray for the Stoflet family.

Please continue to pray for all of our other families who are still in treatment or are dealing with chronic illness. Please pray specifically for a little guy named Kaden Book. Kaden will turn 5-years-old tomorrow and was diagnosed last Friday with B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia (ALL). His parents, Halie and Kevin, were youth leaders at my church when I was younger. Please pray for them as they begin this long cancer journey: for peace, strength, joy, hope, perseverance, and courage.

Second, besides praying for our families (which is always welcome and needed) you can help us partner with one of our families to bring the love and hope of Jesus Christ to families facing pediatric bone marrow transplants this holiday season! The Smith family's triplet son, Conner, underwent a bone marrow transplant at Cincinnati Children's Hospital four years ago - on August 17, 2007 - for a rare immune system disorder. Now, they collect gift cards every year around Thanksgiving and Christmas to donate to families in need during the holiday season. Conner's mom, Kristin, explains:

"Most of you know that our son Conner underwent a life saving bone marrow transplant four years ago. Even though we were there for months, we were lucky that he was hospitalized just a few hours from home. However, most BMT children must travel a great distance to a specialized transplant facility and are often hospitalized for many months. Unfortunately, many of these families don't have much support and most of these kids are separated from one of their parents and their siblings during the holiday season, which makes it even more unbearable. So, last year we decided to do a Gift Card Drive to collect gift cards to share with hospitalized BMT kids. The gift cards were used to help purchase Christmas gifts for the kids or help cover travel and lodging expenses to bring their families together for the holidays. Once again we've decided to collect gift cards for BMT families. If you are interested in helping these families and would like to send a donation or gift card please let me know or simply mail them to the address below.  No amount is too small, you can get gift cards in pretty much any denomination. Some suggestions might be cards for Target, Walmart, gas cards, Visa, American Express gift cards, etc.

Please let me know if you have any questions! 

Mail cards or donations to:
Kristin Smith
c/o Tecton
102 N. Third St, Suite 201
Lafayette, IN 47901

Thank you for your continued love, support and generosity over the years!"

 Conner with his siblings while undergoing a bone marrow transplant in 2007 - (L-R) Evan, Conner, Hayden, and Kelsey


There you have it! If you have any questions or have any other ideas as to how we can share the love and hope of Jesus Christ with families facing childhood cancer or other life-altering illnesses this holiday season, please contact us! We'd love to partner with you!

Take time to count your blessings and give thanks today and every day! Happy Thanksgiving!

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Congratulations!

Recently most of my posts have been asking you to pray or telling you about hard things that our families are facing. Tonight, though, I'm posting about good things that are happening! Congratulations to Noah and Adam!

Noah had his port removed today following over 3 years of treatment for acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Congratulations, Noah!

Also, Adam was discharged from 7W this morning following his very last inpatient chemo treatment for brain cancer! Adam still has one more chemo treatment to go - an outpatient IV push - on Tuesday and then he will be finished with cancer treatment, hopefully forever!

Please take a minute to say a prayer of thanks on behalf of our families! Congratulations, guys!

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Friday, September 30, 2011

Far From Over

Today is September 30: the last day of childhood cancer awareness month. But for families of children with this disease - and those of us who are choosing to walk beside them - it is far from over. We are aware of childhood cancer 24/7 whether we like it or not.

So much has happened this September even just within in our Break the Grey family: so many families struggling. Childhood cancer is brutal and it is ugly. One morning this month I was walking to school and just thinking about and praying for our families. So many of them were weighing heavily on my heart. I did what I do so often to try and clear my head and express myself: I turned on music.

The song I was listening to was called "The Power of Your Name" by Lincoln Brewster. The lyrics described exactly what it is Break the Grey is about, and why we are working towards awareness; why we choose to walk this journey with our families; why we don't give up.

Ultimately, at the end of the day, we do what we do because we love Jesus. Our goal is to love Jesus by loving on families of kids with cancer or other life-altering illnesses, and to see His Kingdom come in our lives and in the dark places in which we walk. That's why the chorus resonates with me:

"And I will live
To carry Your compassion
To love a world that's broken
To be Your hands and feet
And I will give
With the life that I've been given
And go beyond religion
To see the world be changed
By the power of Your name"

That's what we're about. Loving hard. Ushering in a Kingdom. Glorifying Jesus.

Listen to the song here:


And please, please, please, don't let this be the end. Just because September will end in a few hours doesn't mean that childhood cancer does. Please continue to pray for our families. Please continue to pray about what you can do to love Jesus - whether it involves our ministry or not.

Because the fight - against childhood cancer, with and for our families, and for a Kingdom - is far from over.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Evan

Please pray for Evan's family. I included Evan in my update last night. I just received word that at 6:40 this morning, Evan took his final breath here on this earth and the first in the presence of his Savior. Please pray for his family.

Childhood cancer stinks. [That classifies as the understatement of the year.]

Still hoping, still believing, and still never, ever giving up,

Sarah

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Front Lines

Oftentimes, the relationship between a child and cancer is referred to as a "battle" or a "war." If we think about it, that is the metaphor that we use all the time to describe any relationship to illness. We "fight cancer," we "battle immune deficiency," etc. 

In the past few days I've gotten glimpses from those on the front lines of this "fight;" this "battle;" this "war on childhood cancer." And our warriors are fighting so valiantly! But many of them are struggling. Indeed, they are fighting. Please hold them and their families close in prayer.

Patrick, who is in treatment for relapsed acute lymphoblastic leukemia, was just diagnosed a few days ago with diabetes. Because he is still in treatment for cancer, his medical team is not sure whether it will resolve once he comes off therapy. We are definitely praying so! This new diagnosis is very hard for his whole family to swallow. Please pray for peace, wisdom, discernment, strength, and courage for them as they begin the battle against yet another monster.

Adam, age 7, is relatively new to our Break the Grey family. He was on schedule to receive his last inpatient chemotherapy treatment for medulloblastoma, a childhood brain cancer, earlier this month. However, he suddenly came down with bacterial meningitis. He spent about a week in the PICU and endured two emergency brain surgeries within days of each other. He lost a considerable amount of function on his left side, and is now having to work hard to regain his strength. Once he finishes this latest battle against meningitis, he is set to finish out the war on cancer with his last chemo treatment. Please pray for endurance for Adam and his family. They are ready to be done.

Evan has been fighting neuroblastoma, a particularly aggressive childhood cancer, since 2006. After being treated at St. Jude Children's Research Hospital for over 5 years, Evan and his family have exhausted all treatment options. Evan is resting with his family as they wait for Jesus to take him home.

And there are so many more! I opened up my Facebook page and was bombarded with updates coming from Break the Grey families of other childhood cancer families enduring extremely difficult things. There are many families that I don't know personally who have lost their children this week. In fact, Nick Patrick, one of our own Break the Grey kids, went to be with Jesus last month. Other families are watching their child suffer and doing everything in their power to stop it, to no avail. Others are celebrating their child's birthday in heaven this year. Still others are simply enduring treatment as usual. But that is not as easy as it sounds. They are fighting every single day.

And our childhood cancer warriors are not the only ones doing battle every day. September is childhood cancer awareness month, but this week is mitochondrial disease awareness week. This illness affects the mitochondria cells, which supply the entire body with energy. When they fail, different and entire body systems begin to shut down. We have come to know and love a few families living with this illness.

Please pray for the Hobbs family - they have three children affected by this disease - and for Matthew. Matthew was recently diagnosed, and all of his care and coordination is overwhelming.

And still more kids and families to keep in our thoughts and prayers:

Ellison Kate took her last breath on this earth and her first one in heaven at the age of three months old on August 28, 2011. Ellie is Cooper's cousin, one of our Break the Grey kids and cancer survivors! Please pray for Ellie's family, as Ellie is the second daughter that her parents have lost. She joined her sister, Maddy, in heaven.

One of our Break the Grey kids - although I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to call her a kid - will be undergoing a kidney transplant soon. We met Michelle, age 20, at one of our Break the Grey parties at Kosair Children's Hospital a year or two ago. She underwent a liver transplant at age 2, but her transplant meds sent her into kidney failure. She is currently planning on having her kidney transplant from a living, non-related donor (just like me!) in October sometime. Please pray that the transplant process goes smoothly. Please pray for peace of mind for Michelle, her family, and her donor, and for wisdom and discernment for her medical team as they move forward.

Phew! So, so many beautiful families on the front lines of childhood cancer and other life-altering illness. My prayer is that we would be the reinforcements. May we charge forward with light in the dark, advancing a Kingdom that is imperishable and unfading. [1 Peter 1:4]

Reach the day.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Ways to Help

September is childhood cancer awareness month, and we are a couple of weeks in. The further we get, the more I hate childhood cancer.

So many people have asked me what they can do to get involved with Break the Grey or to do something for kids with cancer. And, alas, I have an answer. Well, 3 answers. Can you babysit, pray, or eat? Then you can join the fight!

One of our families, the Hobbs, are actually not a childhood cancer family. But at Break the Grey we don't discriminate. We understand that there are a wide variety of childhood diseases that devastate families and affect them profoundly and uniquely.

The Hobbs family deals with something called mitochondrial disease. This illness affects the mitochondria cells, which supply the entire body with energy. When they fail, different and entire body systems begin to shut down. Come to find out, September 18-24 is mitochondrial disease awareness week, so this fits perfectly!

The four Hobbs kids are Melanie, Michael, Meredith, and Madison. Michael, Meredith, and Madison are all affected by mito. One of the many complications that they suffer as a result of their disease is something called glycogen storage disease, which is a nutritional/GI defect. Their mom, Jenny, is hosting a conference on glycogen storage disease this weekend and is in need of babysitters for Saturday.

If you are free, would you consider hanging out in Indianapolis, IN and loving on some chronically ill kids while their parents become more educated about their disease? Sitters are needed from 9:00-12:15 am and again from 1:30-4:45 pm. If you can only do one shift, that would still be a great help!

If you are interested, please e-mail Jenny Hobbs at jennyhobbs@alumni.wfu.edu.

Second, please join us in storming heaven's gates in prayer for one of our most courageous cancer warriors! Because I don't have expressed permission to share his information, I can't really say more, but please pray for one of our little guys. Please pray for wisdom and discernment for the medical team and for peace, comfort, hope, and courage for our dude and his family.


Lastly, eat at Chili's! On Monday, September 26, Chili's Bar and Grill is donating 100% of profits to St. Jude Children's Research Hospital in Memphis, TN. Although St. Jude only treats approximately 400 of the 30,000-40,000 kids currently in treatment for cancer in the US, it is still a worthwhile investment! Eat lunch or eat dinner, dine in or take out, it doesn't matter! If you buy food from Chili's on September 26, the profits will go to help kids with cancer!

Babysit. Pray. Eat. Never lose hope.


Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,


Sarah

Thursday, September 1, 2011

September

In case you were unaware, September is childhood cancer awareness month. Obviously Break the Grey is extremely aware of the reality and devastation of childhood cancer, and we are trying to do something about it, no matter how small or miniscule our efforts. We are just idealistic enough to believe that they are making some sort of a difference.

I will post a more detailed, passionate, and lengthy post on childhood cancer awareness later this month, but right now I'm just writing to update you all on some of our kiddos.

First is Nick Patrick. Some of you might remember me writing about Nick and his family before. They live in Georgia and found out about Break the Grey through our website. Nick recently turned 15-years-old and has been battling brain cancer since 2009. A few months ago he was placed on hospice. However, he made a miraculous recovery and began exploring treatment options to keep the cancer at bay and extend his life. Unfortunately, all of his treatment options were exhausted and Nick met Jesus face to face on Sunday, August 28 at 7:16 am. Please hold his family close in your prayers as they grieve.

Just as we are heartbroken for Nick's family, so we experience joy at the other end of the spectrum for two of our families who have just finished or soon will be finishing treatment. One is Noah Goldberg, who just finished his IV chemo for acute lymphoblastic leukemia. He will finish his oral chemotherapy and steroids on September 15. Also the week of September 15 our buddy Adam will finish his chemotherapy for medulloblastoma, a childhood brain cancer. As you pray for Nick's family, please say a prayer of thanks for these families.

Such joy and sorrow in the same breath.

"There will be things in this life that we will mourn. But everything that we mourn has been triumphed over in the cross and the resurrection of Jesus Christ." - Dr. Brian Barlow

Reach the day.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Friday, August 5, 2011

Christmas in July (Err...August?)

We had our Christmas in July event on Tuesday, August 2. It was postponed due to air duct issues on the unit, so it ended up being Christmas in August. It was our first time doing this event, and I think that for the first time it went well.

We passed out toys and talked with about 10 children receiving treatment or undergoing procedures in the OMO (Outpatient Medical Observation) at Kosair Children's Hospital. There were a few kids who really enjoyed their visit from Santa. One little guy, upon realizing he had received a large container of PlayDough and cookie cutters, began yelling, "Open it! Open it!" and grinning. His nurse walked into the room to check on him and when she left she grinned at me and said, "I guess he's good!" 

Another little guy was just coming out of sedation when we entered his room to give him a toy truck. He lay flat on the bed, held the truck inches from his face, and tried to make sense of his surroundings. When Santa bent over to talk to him and see if he liked it, his face lit up and he said, "Santa Claus!" He was very excited to get a visit from Santa!

One of the unique things about our ministry is that we aim to serve, support, and encourage siblings as well as parents and patients. We definitely accomplished that! There was one little girl whose sibling was receiving treatment and she was spending the day there too. The look on her face when she realized that Santa held a gift for her too was priceless! She clung to it and her smile was, well, as big as Christmas!

We were able to pray with one family, and make almost everyone smile.

Thank you to those who gave to make this event possible - whether you ran errands, let us borrow your Santa suit, gave financially, helped sort toys, cleaned out bins, or prayed for us. You all made a difference!

Please keep us in prayer as we brainstorm and plan other upcoming events in our quest to show Jesus to these families by loving hard. Thanks.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Christmas in July Postponed - Until August!

As we were preparing to pack up and head out for our Christmas in July event this morning, the child life specialist from Kosair Children's Cancer Center called. The OMO is closed due to an air duct issue, so all the OMO patients were moved over to 7 West. We elected to reschedule the event so that we can make the most out of it for our OMO kiddos. The event will now take place next Tuesday, August 2 at 11:00 am.

The good news is that leaves more time for all of us to pray! Please continue covering this event in your prayers - for the volunteers and for the families with whom we will come in contact.

Speaking of prayers, please storm heaven's gates for Patrick McSweeney. Reading his mom's update this morning made me all the angrier at childhood cancer. Patrick is 12-years-old, and was first diagnosed with leukemia at age 5. He endured 3 years of treatment, and then enjoyed a few years cancer-free. His cancer returned last April, and, while still in the middle of his intensive relapse treatment protocol, his family received the news last week that his cancer has come back a third time. This also took place the week of the funeral for Patrick's grandpa (his dad's Dad).

Please pray for wisdom and discernment for Patrick's family and his medical team. Please pray for peace, comfort, strength, courage, grace, hope, and joy for the McSweeney family.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Friday, July 22, 2011

Christmas in July

Around this time last summer, we put on an event called Hoops for Hope. It worked like a walk-a-thon, but instead of walking laps participants shot free throws. We had a great time and raised roughly $1,000 to help us continue to fulfill our mission of sharing the love and hope of Jesus by serving, supporting, and encouraging families facing childhood cancer or other life-altering illnesses.

We wanted to do another summer event, and came up with Christmas in July. The elementary students at Christian Academy of Indiana did a fantastic job supplying us with toys for our winter parties; so much so that we have extra! We have a couple who has agreed to be our Santa and Mrs. Claus, so we're going to dress up and take the extra toys over to Kosair Children's Hospital. Instead of going to 7 West, the inpatient kidney/cancer unit where our winter party takes place, we are going across the hall to 7 East, also known as the OMO (Outpatient Medical Observation).

The OMO is an outpatient unit where kids go to receive outpatient treatments, infusions, procedures, and check-ups. The oncology patients go there for chemo, blood products, spinal taps, bone marrow aspirations, blood draws, etc. The OMO is where I received IVIG for 4 months immediately following my immune deficiency diagnosis, and I spent a lot of time there for kidney treatment growing up. During my treatment time there, I met lots of kids being treated for a variety of chronic conditions.

The other thing about the OMO is this: it's boring. Very boring. The kids don't spend the night on the OMO, but many of their treatments take hours on end. I was usually there for 5 or 6 hours total for IVIG, and have spent as long as 8 or 9 hours on those kinds of units getting treatment before. Many kids are there all day - from 7:00 or 8:00 am until 7:00 at night. The child life program at Kosair Children's is wonderful, but they are often so busy with the inpatient children that they don't have time to bring distractions to the outpatient children.

That's where we come in. I know it's boring, from personal experience. The movie, game, and snack selection is limited, and the space is cramped. So we're going to come bring a little joy and distraction - Christmas cheer, if you will - to the kids who have to spend a summer day cooped up in treatment.

We're taking Santa and Mrs. Claus with a wagon sleigh full of toys from room to room to spread some Christmas cheer on Thursday, July 28!

Where do you guys come in? Our event is less than a week away, and we still need the following:

1. A suit for Mrs. Claus. If you have a Mrs. Claus suit or know how to obtain one, please contact us.

2. Christmas cookies. We would like to take treats to the kids when we go. However, they must be store-bought due to infection control regulations. If anyone knows where to obtain Christmas cookies in July, or has connections with a bakery that would be willing to donate Christmas cookies, please contact us.

3. Prayer! As always, we need our event covered in prayer! Please pray for the volunteers as we go to serve - pray that God would prepare our hearts, that He would give us boldness to share His love and hope, and that all of the logistics would fall into place. Please pray for the families that we will encounter - pray that God would prepare their hearts ahead of time to receive His love and His hope. Please pray for opportunities to share the Gospel - and that we would be willing and bold to recognize and take those opportunities.

Thanks again for all of your support! What you do makes a difference!

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Reach the Day

The Children's Oncology Group (COG) is one of the biggest names in the childhood cancer community. They are the ones who do the research and come up with clinical trials. In fact, most of the current treatment protocols for pediatric cancer have been developed by COG.

Their fundraising branch is called CureSearch. CureSearch is actively involved in advocacy, awareness, and fundraising for childhood cancer. I believe something like 97 cents out of every dollar donated to CureSearch goes directly to fund the research behind the top children's cancer treatment protocols in the US.

CureSearch has a slogan that they use for one of their advocacy and awareness events in Washington, D.C: "Reach the day: conquer kids' cancer." The slogan refers to "reach[ing] the day when every child with cancer can be guaranteed a cure."

Having walked alongside many families enduring childhood cancer with Break the Grey, I long to reach that day. I long to reach the day when I won't attend another funeral for anyone under age 18; I long to reach the day when I won't hold a sobbing parent, choking back my own tears and offering only silence and a shoulder because words are simply not enough; I long to reach the day when I won't ever hear the words, "because my brother/sister has cancer" uttered by a child ever again; I long to reach the day when every child has hair, all their major organs and limbs, and no scars, lines, bags, pumps, or tubes.

This summer I am working as a nurse extern on 7 West - the kids' cancer and kidney unit at Kosair Children's Hospital. Shifting roles to work in that capacity (where previously I was a patient, and then a volunteer with Break the Grey) makes me long to reach the day that much more. I now know medically what is happening to these precious children, and of what I am having to do to stop it or to ease their suffering. And so I long even more to reach the day when I will not be asked for pain or nausea meds; when I will not wear special protective equipment to handle the chemicals about to be poured into a child's chest; when I will never again stand feet away from a doctor as she utters the words, "It's cancer" to devastated parents; when I will be out of a job because childhood cancer is no more.

As a follower of Christ, that day will become a reality. And, as of late, I find myself longing for it more and more.

I have found myself in a bit of a rough patch with my own health recently. For reasons still unknown, I've been running fevers randomly every few days for the past month. On one such day, after reporting one such fever to my mom and waiting on Tylenol to kick in, she put her hands on my shoulders and said, "Hang in there, Sweetie. Your new body is on pre-order."

I smiled at the thought, and now - as I drive to work, as I brainstorm Break the Grey events, as I take Tylenol for another fever, as I hear or read of a family who has either lost their child or just been rudely and abruptly introduced to the world of childhood cancer - I long to reach the day even more. Heaven takes root in my heart, and I long to reach the day that John describes in Revelation:

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be any mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away." - Revelation 21:4

I long to reach the day when what is empty will be filled, what is lost will be found, what is broken will be made whole.

I long to reach the day when all my questions are answered; when all the pieces fit; when I can see the other side of the tapestry. I long to reach the day when I will see the beauty of the mosaic (for now all I see are the broken shards of glass) and will comprehend the magnificence of the perfect master plan of my Creator.

On that day we will find that cancer - nor anything else, for that matter - did not have the final word after all. On that day parents will hold their children - some for the first time in decades - and will realize that the time they now have with their child is so much more than the time they were without.

Oh, yes - I long to reach that day. But none of those things - complete healing, redemption, unity, joy - are the main point or the best part of heaven. No: the main point and the best part of heaven is Jesus. It is the perfect reconciliation that I will have with God because of Jesus' finished work on the cross.

For those of you to whom this does not make sense, let me try to explain: for it is of critical importance:

I was (and you were) created for a perfect relationship with the God who created us. Problem is, He is perfect and I am not (nor are you). Because I violate His standards of perfection, there was no way for us to have that perfect relationship. Not only that, but I would have to pay the consequences for such treason: death, torture, and an eternity without the One for Whom I was created.

The only way this could be remedied - the only way I could be reconciled to God - is if someone came along who could appease both parties: be 100% God and 100% man. This mediator would have to pay the ultimate price - a life for a life.

And so Jesus came. Jesus is God's Son - 100% God and 100% man. He was born to a virgin, lived a perfect life, and then died a cruel death on a cross (the ultimate torture instrument in the days of Roman rule).

By dying on the cross, Jesus took the punishment intended for me (and for you). He stood in our place and received the full outpouring of God's wrath. By realizing and embracing my need for Jesus' sacrifice, I am guaranteed hope for the future. I am guaranteed that one day, the very thing for which I was created will become a reality: I will have a perfect and complete relationship with my Creator, unhindered by anything that I have done or have messed up.

On that day, I will be made whole and complete in the presence of my Savior.

And I can't wait.

Paul puts words to this longing and this waiting in Romans 8:

"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God. We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts, knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purposes...

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all - how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things? ... Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? ... No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:18-39

On that day, it will be nice to have a kidney that works (who knows? Maybe I'll have 2!) and an immune system that functions normally. Oh, yes, there are so many days where I long for my pre-ordered body now!

But even better, on that day, each and every hurt will be worth it; I will see that it was not wasted because I will see my Jesus, and I will live with Him forever and ever. And that is the hope to which I cling so desperately.

If you'd like more information about starting a relationship with Jesus or about heaven or eternity, please contact us. We'd love to talk through this with you.

I'm closing with the lyrics to an anthem for those of us who are desperately waiting:

"All creation waits
Bated breath in pain
For redemption's day
All creation cries
Floods and charcoal skies
Things are not alright

With brokennes and broken fists
We beat upon the breast of fallenness
We hear the call of Kingdom come
As one more train we chase to only miss
But we will never give up on it

We're part of the resistance
We're running in the revolution
We're part of the insistance
That we are more than institution
We're part of the tradition
Of Spirit-powered evolution
We're part of the resistance
We're running in the revolution, revolution

All creation groans
In one voice alone
For them to be shown
All creation cries
Floods and charcoal skies
Things are not alright

We're living in a world
Built on the walls between the haves and never wills
But we're following a King who's ears
Are bent to those forgotten and unfilled
And He will never give up on it

We're standing up
And we're kneeling down
And we're digging in
And we're reaching out
And we're loving more
And we're holding less
And we won't back down
From this holy mess

And we're choosing hope
And we're choosing peace
We were chosen by Grace
To bring flesh and feet
To the Loving More
To the Holding Rest
And we won't back down"
                    - Aaron Niequist, "The Resistance"

Longing, groaning, waiting, yearning, hoping, reaching for the day when this too shall be made right...

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Easter: Relentless Love, Unswerving Hope

Happy Easter to our Break the Grey family! I hope you all are having a blessed day remembering hope and rescue. I had a few thoughts to share with you all in honor of this day:

Last Sunday at Genesis Church (my church home while away at school) Paul Mumaw, our lead pastor, preached the last sermon in his "Red Letter Day" series about the words of Jesus uttered from the cross. The last phrase He said was, "It is finished," which in the Greek is one word: "Tetelestai." It means, "to end, to complete, to discharge a debt." This word was used in only three contexts:

1. A servant who had finished his work (Philippians 2:5-11; Isaiah 52:13-ch. 53)
2. A merchant who had paid his debt (Colossians 2:13-15)
3. A priest after examining and approving a lamb for sacrifice (Hebrews 4:14-5:10; 7:23-ch. 8)

(See the verses in parenthesis to draw connections between this word uttered from Jesus' lips and how He is described throughout Scripture.)

When Jesus uttered this phrase - tetelestai - on the cross, the debt had been paid in full. The wrath of the Father that was intended for us - yes, indeed, for the cross was intended for us - was completely satisfied in Jesus' sacrifice. His atoning work was finished. We were ransomed in that moment.

Paul, our pastor, talked about the emphasis that is placed, especially around this time of year, on the blood of Jesus. Why blood? What is so significant about blood? Hebrews 9:22 gives us the answer:

"Under the law almost everything is purified with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins." (ESV)

In the Old Testament, sacrifices had to be made to atone for sin. Blood had to be spilled in order for the debt to be paid: a life for a life.

It reminded me of a time when I was about 13 or 14-years-old and I was inpatient on 7 West at Kosair Children's Hospital. I was pretty sick and I needed blood drawn and an IV placed. The results of my blood tests would tell us how well (or not) my kidney was working and if I my infection had spread to my blood. The tests were crucial.

Anyway, I am a very hard stick. My nurse had stuck me multiple times to draw this blood and she couldn't get it. It was hours past when the tests were supposed to be run, and my medical team was not happy. One of my doctors actually came into my room to watch her draw the blood.

Finally, she got the blood! Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. My patience was wearing thin, and I was so glad to be done.

Then, she dropped the syringe.

As she went to transfer my blood from the syringe to the tubes, she dropped all of it.

Blood went everywhere.

Bright red stains covered the white sheets and the white tile floor.

Since it had all been lost, we had to start over again. I remember in that moment as I gathered myself and prepared to endure more pain, thinking about the blood of Jesus. If my blood was this important, and if spilling it had such dire consequences, how much more power did the blood of my Savior hold?

Because the blood of Jesus covers all of my sins and cancels all of my debts, nothing separates me any longer from the love of my Heavenly Father.

Not my sins.

Not kidney disease, immune deficiency, or needle pokes.

Not even childhood cancer.

No - Jesus' blood covers even that.

I love the way Eugene Peterson paraphrases Romans 8:31-39:

"So, what do you think? With God on our side like this, how can we lose? If God didn't hesitate to put everything on the line for us, embracing our condition and exposing Himself to the worst by sending His own Son, is there anything else He wouldn't gladly and freely do for us? ... The One who died for us - who was raised to life for us! - is in the presence of God at this very moment sticking up for us. Do you think anyone is going to be able to drive a wedge between us and Christ's love for us? There is no way! Not trouble, not hard times, not hatred, not hunger, not homelessness, not bullying threats, not backstabbing, not even the worst sins listed in Scripture...None of this fazes us because Jesus loves us. I'm absolutely convinced that nothing - nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable - absolutely nothing can get between us and God's love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us." (emphasis mine)

That is not to say that those things - kidney disease, immune deficiency, childhood cancer - don't matter or are not hard.

That is to say that even so, His love endures forever because of the blood of Jesus on the cross.

So even though it is hard, be encouraged. Look to the cross. May it remind you that God is good, and He is with you, and He is for you. And, in the end, He wins.

We ended the service last Sunday by singing "Our God" by Chris Tomlin:

"Our God is greater
Our God is stronger
God, You are higher than any other
Our God is healer
Awesome in power
Our God, our God

And if our God is for us
Then who could ever stop us?
And if our God is with us
Then what could stand against?"

Yes, indeed: our God is greater, stronger, higher. And He triumphs in the end - yes, even over childhood cancer.

This Easter, take heart. Be encouraged. Look to the cross - for there you will find a love relentless and a hope unswerving. 

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

The Patrick Family

A while back I received an e-mail via Break the Grey's 'contact us' page. It was from the Patrick family in Georgia. They were requesting prayers for 14-year-old Nick Patrick who is fighting recurrent PNET (a rare type of childhood brain cancer).

Shortly after they contacted me, Nick took a rapid turn for the worse and hospice was brought in. It looked like Nick's battle would end in the arms of Jesus. However, God seems to have different plans for him. Since then, Nick has made nothing short of a miraculous recovery. He is no longer on hospice, and has completed another round of treatments in an effort to slow tumor growth. You can watch Nick's testimony below:


His family has requested two things of Break the Grey: first is obviously prayers for Nick's complete earthly healing. Please pray that his tumors shrink and die, and that his upcoming scans show no cancer. Please also pray for strength, grace, courage, perseverance, and hope for their entire family.

Second, they have requested that cards, mail, and encouragement be sent to his younger sister, Autumn. She, like so many other siblings of children with cancer or other life-altering illnesses, has not received as much attention while her brother undergoes treatment. Any note of hope, love, and encouragement would be greatly appreciated. You can mail it to:

Autumn Patrick
210 Grassmere St.
Kingsland, GA 31548

Please add the Patrick family to your prayer list and take a moment to send some hope and encouragement their way!

The Patrick Family

Thanks for your support!

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Party Time - Take 2!

We had our annual party on the children's cancer/renal unit at Kosair Children's Hospital this past Friday, April 8. It kept getting postponed due to construction on the unit. They renovated/expanded the family room and it looks awesome! It was definitely worth the wait!

There were only about 10-15 families on the unit on Friday night. This could be counted as a good thing because there are 26 beds on 7 West and they are usually all full. However, a few of our volunteers were a little skeptical about how the party would go with the low numbers. The night was definitely a reminder that we serve a big God who is not limited to numbers. We were reminded that it is not at all about the numbers. It's about hope, love, and, most of all, it's about Jesus getting the glory.

The families that we served all had amazing stories and incredible journeys, as always. My parents and I were able to encourage a lot of families with my story (again, that's not what this is about, but it was good to be able to spread hope) and pray with them.

It seemed like everywhere we went in the hospital we were given opportunities to share the love and hope of Christ (which is, if I haven't driven it home enough already, the point of why we do what we do). We met families in the ICU and families from the heart center. We were able to connect, encourage, and pray with them in addition to the cancer and kidney kids on 7 West.

One new thing at the party this time was pottery painting! Earth and Fire Pottery donated some paint and ceramic tile squares so that the families could paint. They are being put in the kiln at Earth and Fire and will be returned to the child life specialist to be distributed to the families once they are finished. The tiles were a big hit, especially with the siblings and the younger kids. In fact, I don't know if we had any left over! Thanks so much, Kelly, for giving of your time and resources!

Special thanks also to Great Harvest Bread Company for donating loaves of bread and butter, and to Adrienne's Bakery for donating the big, colorful cookies!

Thank you to all of you who helped make this party a success, whether you prayed, volunteered, or gave financially.  What you're doing is making a difference!

Please continue to pray for all of the families that we met - for peace, grace, strength, courage, joy, endurance, and hope. Glory to God alone.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Friday, April 8, 2011

Tonight

I've been meaning to write before now, but this week has just gotten away from me. We are having our annual party at Kosair Children's Hospital tonight after having to reschedule it due to construction on the unit. The kids' cancer center now has a new family room, and we get to use it for our party! I'm excited to see what's been done and to hang out and love on more families!

What I'm asking you all to do, of course, is pray! Some specific requests are as follows:

1. For the parents we will encounter and minister to at the party - for peace, comfort, hope, encouragement, and strength.


2. For the siblings - for peace, comfort, hope, encouragement, and strength.

3. For the children fighting cancer or other life-threatening illness - for peace, comfort, hope, encouragement, courage, and complete earthly healing.

4. For all involved in the medical care of these children - nurses, doctors, and other staff - for wisdom, guidance, discernment, compassion, and peace.

5. That all who encounter Break the Grey in some way will be blessed by the love and hope of Jesus Christ. Please pray that God would prepare their hearts even now to receive His message of hope and love, even in the face of devastating illness.

6. That God would continue to open doors as we go about making last minute plans and preparations, and as we throw the party; that God would bless us with opportunities to share the hope, comfort, healing, peace, and encouragement of Jesus Christ.

7. That all of our needs would be met - that God would provide enough parent gift baskets, sibling and patient bundles, and food to minister to each and every family that comes to the parties.

8. For the volunteers that will be serving at the party - that God would give us the words to say and the ears to listen; that everything that we say and do would be reflective of Christ in us, and His hope in their darkness.

9. For specific opportunities to share the gospel, and that we would have the courage to be bold and speak up.

10. That any and all glory, honor, and praise attributed to Break the Grey would be God's and God's alone.
 
Additionally, we have a few prayer requests for some of the individual families that we serve:
 
Please pray for Patrick. He is in treatment for relapsed leukemia, and his chemotherapy drugs have had some particularly vicious side effects lately. Please pray that the side effects would be minimized, that the cancer would remain in remission, and that God would provide his family with strength and endurance.

Please say a prayer of thanks for Emily! She recently had a check up and all of her counts are great! She is doing wonderful, and is almost one whole year since her bone marrow transplant (April 16)! 

Please pray for JP. JP has been in the hospital for so, so long and continues to be very sick. Please pray for wisdom for his medical team and all involved with his care. Please pray for peace, comfort, strength, endurance, encouragement, joy, and hope for his family.

Please pray for two of our newer families: Gisele and Nick. Gisele is in the midst of treatment right now for rhabdomyosarcoma, and is set to finish in June. Nick has multiple brain tumors and has been sent home on hospice. However, he seems to be making a miraculous recovery and stunning his medical team as he makes strides each day. Please pray for his complete earthly healing and for his family. 
 
As always, thank you so much for all of your prayers! They really do make a difference in what we do and in the lives of our families. 
Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah


Tuesday, March 22, 2011

New date!

Our annual party at Kosair Children's Hospital in Louisville, KY has been pushed back for quite some time due to construction on the children's cancer care and renal unit. Now that construction is complete and we've been able to coordinate calendars, our party will take place in the new Family Room on 7 West on Friday, April 8!

Mark your calendars and please start praying now! Please go here for a list of specific requests.

As always, thanks so much for your support.

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Childhood Cancer and the Kingdom of God

 
I'm a junior at Anderson University, and this morning I got to make 2,000 people aware of the reality of childhood cancer and talk about what is being done about it. Below is my presentation, complete with a new Break the Grey video! For those of you who've been following the blog from the beginning, some of this may be repetitive, but I think it's important. 
"Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to Your name give glory, for the sake of Your steadfast love and Your faithfulness!" - Psalm 115:1


I only had to take one math class here at AU. I’ve never been good at math, so this was good news to me. I took my one math class last semester: finite math with Professor Saltzmann. I learned a lot in the class, and honestly, most of what I learned had nothing to do with numbers.
One time during class, Professor Saltzmann picked up a Bible and read to us out of Matthew 25. It’s a pretty famous passage, and I’d either read it or heard it about a hundred times:
“I was hungry and you gave Me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited Me in, I needed clothes and you clothed Me, I was sick and you looked after Me, I was in prison and you came to visit Me.’ … Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me.” – Matthew 25:35-36, 40
Then Professor Saltzmann said something that I wrote down in my notebook and haven’t forgotten since:
“If you claim the name of Jesus Christ, you must make a lifetime commitment to Matthew 25. There are about as many opportunities to live out Matthew 25 as there are fingers and toes in this room.”
The point, he emphasized, is that our lives here on this earth are going to be measured by how much we love. And there are about as many opportunities to love recklessly as there are fingers and toes in this room.
Break the Grey is just one of them.
Technically speaking, Break the Grey is a ministry that exists to share the love and hope of Jesus Christ by serving, supporting, and encouraging families facing childhood cancer or other life-altering illnesses. That’s our mission statement: the guiding principles behind why we do what we do.
It’s come a long way.
Break the Grey was started in 2005 as a response, of sorts.
When I first learned that the words “childhood” and “cancer” occur in the same sentence together, I was fifteen years old. Now, almost seven years later, the thought still sickens me.
Sara Groves puts exact words to my passion in her song, “I Saw What I Saw:”
“I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
I know what I know and I can't deny it

Something on the road cut me to the soul

Your pain has changed me
Your dream inspires
Your face a memory
Your hope a fire
Your courage asks me what I'm afraid of
And what I know of love”

I can’t pretend that childhood cancer doesn’t exist.
I can’t not do something about it.
But growing up as a terminally ill child, undergoing a kidney transplant at age eleven, and being diagnosed with a rare immune system defect five years later at age seventeen taught me that childhood cancer isn’t the only disease that devastates families. There are, unfortunately, way too many to name, each with their own life-altering symptoms, treatments, side effects, and protocols.
And for each precious child affected by a life-altering illness, there is a beautiful family. Dads, moms, brothers, sisters, and extended family, each with their own unique and specific physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs.
That’s what Break the Grey wants to call awareness to. Those are the broken pieces we seek to mend.
And with those pieces, we seek to facilitate a mosaic through which the love and hope of Jesus the Christ can shine – brighter than any darkness.
And so, over the years, Break the Grey has evolved into a different kind of response:

A response to the heart of God for families that are hurting.

A response to the call to advance the kingdom of God with my hands and my feet.

A response to the command to love recklessly.

Each of those kids in the video that you saw has a name. Cooper. Patrick. Ellie. Hadyn. Katie. Brent. Henry. Aidan. Gabby. Eli. Conner. Alex. Emily. Graham. They all have a family. They have all traveled incredible journeys and fought valiant battles.

And they have taught me that sometimes the kingdom of God doesn’t come crashing into our lives. Sometimes it comes quietly – in the little things. Like:

Coloring.












Blow up dice.













Shooting free throws.












Squishy pillows.



 












Milk in a bendy straw.













Play dough.













Popcorn.














Playing cars. 
















Piggy back rides.


















Parties.













The last bag of chemo.













Walking laps.













Finger paint.













Confetti and streamers.













And I’m convinced that we can labor for this kingdom now. With our hands and our feet we could make it come, in the choices that we make to love recklessly.

When you get close enough to the heart of God, what do you hear? Do you hear it beating for those caught in the sex trade? Do you hear it for families facing cancer? For widows and orphans? The homeless and hungry? Do you hear it beating for the person sitting next to you? Or the annoying kid in your class or the one who lives down the hall?

Listen close.

How can His heartbeat become the pulse that works itself out through your hands and your feet?

It doesn’t have to change the world. It doesn’t necessarily have to be big.

Maybe it’s only as big as Ironman pajamas.


















It just has to love hard.

What will you do?

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,
Sarah