The Measure of Hope

As we prepare to ring in 2012, I am looking back and thinking of all the things that Break the Grey did in 2011. How have we put hands and feet to our mission statement – to share the love and hope of Jesus Christ by serving, supporting, and encouraging families facing childhood cancer or other life-altering illnesses – for the last 12 months?

On Tuesday, February 15, 2011, we served approximately 20 families on the childhood cancer unit at Riley Children’s Hospital in Indianapolis, IN. We took gifts for the patients and their siblings, gift baskets for the parents, and food. We hung out, laughed, ate, played, and prayed with and for these precious families.

Break the Grey Party at Riley Children's Hospital - February 2011

 And then we did it again. On Friday, April 8, 2011, we served another 10-15 families on 7 West – the children’s kidney and cancer floor at Kosair Children’s Hospital in Louisville, KY. Again, we hung out, laughed, ate, played, prayed, and even painted pottery with families living in the middle of devastating childhood illness. 

But not before we stood up and spoke out. Break the Grey was a featured ministry in a chapel service at Anderson University in Anderson, IN on Tuesday, March 1, 2011. I had the awesome privilege of speaking to approximately 2,000 college students, faculty, and staff and making them aware of the reality of childhood cancer. More than that, I had the opportunity to demonstrate what is being done about it and to challenge them to do something not just with us, but also with and for the Kingdom of God at large. 

Break the Grey in chapel at Anderson University - March 2011

 In the summer, we hosted our first ever Christmas in July party – in August! The party was postponed due to construction, but Santa and Mrs. Clause made an appearance just the same. We did this event on 7 East, or the Outpatient Medical Observation (OMO) unit, at Kosair Children’s Hospital. This unit is where children in treatment for cancer, kidney disease, and a variety of other conditions go for chemo, dialysis, spinal taps, bone marrow aspirations, infusions, blood tests, and other procedures and treatments. Many children are there all day with nothing to do. We wanted to change that – to “break the grey” of a long treatment day, if you will. Santa – sporting flip flops, swimming trunks, and sun glasses, and accompanied by Mrs. Clause – brought some Christmas spirit: cheer, distraction, and presents to approximately 10 kids that day. (Unfortunately, the only pictures are on Santa’s cell phone.)

And then the holidays – Thanksgiving and Christmas. As in years past, we partnered with one of our families, the Smiths, to provide gift cards to families undergoing pediatric bone marrow transplants around Thanksgiving.  Then for Christmas, we were contacted by one of our families who had some needs for Christmas. Break the Grey volunteers responded and threw a Christmas party to show love to and provide for this family. 

Break the Grey Christmas Party - December 2011

 But Break the Grey is not about the events – what we do or what we say. It’s about loving people. It’s about the families whom we meet every single day.

In 2011, we loved and we lost. On Friday, February 11, 2011, 4-year-old Susana Whitaker finished her race and was made forever cancer-free in the presence of her Savior at 12:45 pm. 

Susana, age 4, praising Jesus - she met Him in February 2011

 Later, the Patrick family contacted us. 14-year-old Nick Patrick had an inoperable, malignant brain tumor. We sent care packages to him and his family in Georgia, and grieved with them when Nick went to be with Jesus on Sunday, August 28, 2011 at 7:16 am. Another southern family, the Thomasons, lost their 10-year-old son, Evan, to neuroblastoma after a 5-year battle on Thursday, September 22, 2011 at 6:40 am. 

Nick, age 14, with his family before he went to heaven in August 2011

 There were some triumphs too in our Break the Grey family. Two of our kiddos, Noah and Adam, completed treatment for cancer in 2011. Noah completed over 3 years of treatment for acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and Adam completed 18 months or so of treatment for medulloblastoma, a brain tumor. In October, Break the Grey provided “end-of-chemo” gifts to Adam and his family as a way to celebrate with them. And Michelle, whom we met a couple of years ago at one of our parties at Kosair Children’s Hospital, underwent a successful kidney transplant on November 1, 2011. 

Adam in his "I did it!" shirt just after his last chemo treatment

 In 2011, we did 4 major events. We made contact with roughly 45 families and tried to convey to them how much Jesus loves them. We had 3 families lose children. We had 3 of our children reach major medical milestones.

In some respects, looking at the above list, we did a lot. In others, we didn’t do enough.  The needs are enormous, and there were times in 2011 when our hearts broke and tears fell from our eyes because our love was bigger than our resources.

But how do you measure it, really? What really counts? Something tells me that numbers cannot accurately convey all that happened this past year. How do you measure these things: relationships, love, grief, courage, faith, or hope?

Maybe, for some things, words and numbers simply will not suffice. Maybe, for some things, actions and experiences are what count.

Maybe, at the end of the day – or the year, in our case – it’s not about how many families we served, contacted, connected with, supported, encouraged, loved, or didn’t; it’s not about how many events we threw, or didn’t; it’s not about how big our volunteer base is, or isn’t; it’s not about how much money is in our budget, or isn’t.

Maybe it’s about the families that we served, contacted, connected with, supported, encouraged, and loved – not how many. Maybe it’s about the prayers that were said both with and for our families. Maybe it’s the tears shed – in joy, in grief, and in solidarity with and for parents and children. Maybe it’s the willingness to serve demonstrated by our volunteers, no matter what form it takes: praying, hugging, shopping, organizing, wrapping, serving, holding, crying, reading, writing, speaking, giving, loving, smiling, laughing, listening, etc.

But mostly, I think it was about three things: faith, hope, and love.

Faith in a God who is good and who loves us beyond the capacity of human language to describe, and faith that when we can’t see His hand we can trust His heart – that He is with us and for us.

Hope, rooted in the cross of Jesus Christ, that screams in the darkest of places, “Yes – this is pain,” and “Yes – this hurts more than words can describe,” and “Yes – I would rather be anyplace but here,” and yet – “You, God, are still Good. You are still Glorious. You are still Awesome. You are still Deserving of Praise.” It is a hope that can stare down any moment. It is a hope that can celebrate. And it is a hope that can be fully present and alive - secure in the knowledge that because of the cross, Jesus wins in the end. And so do we.

And lastly – most importantly – love. A love for God and for people that cannot be quenched or squelched. A love that is big and loud. A love that moves from heart and head to hands and feet – beyond warm fuzzies to the nitty gritty. A love that will stop at nothing to make itself – the ultimate love found in the saving message of Jesus Christ – known: yes, even in the darkest of places and the hardest of moments.

My hope and my prayer – my “resolution,” if you will – for Break the Grey for 2012 is that our ministry will not measure itself in numbers. Perhaps not even in words, but instead will be driven by faith, by hope, and by love.

Oh, God, let it be true of us.

“Let the saving love of Christ be the measure of our lives.” – Chris Tomlin

Hoping, Believing, and Never Giving up,

Sarah