As Seasons Change

Some of you may have noticed that I have not yet written about our annual parties this year.

That’s because, for the first time in 8 years, we are not hosting them.

I’ll be honest: this is an update that I have procrastinated giving for a while now.

Break the Grey, as a formal ministry, is drawing to a close.

Please know that this decision was by no means made easily or flippantly.

This is a decision that I have personally agonized over and thought, prayed, and journaled about for over a year. Even as I was involved in the process of planning our parties for 2013, I was beginning to think and pray about the future of our ministry.  

One year later, our team is in the process of writing Break the Grey’s final chapters.

Why? Why halt a ministry that has flourished and has done so much good as it has grown?

Honestly, the reasons are, admittedly, mostly personal.

Last year I stepped away from our party at the Addison Jo Blair Cancer Care Center at Kosair Children’s Hospital because I work there full time as a RN. I was not sure how Break the Grey fit with my professional boundaries. I helped plan it, though, and I attended the party at the Cancer Center at Riley Hospital for Children.

It was then that I began to question things a little further. Throughout the year, I constantly tried to balance my professional integrity at work with the work I was trying to do behind the scenes with Break the Grey. It was a tricky balance to navigate.

The more that I tried to figure things out and the more that I tried to juggle, the more I uncovered a hard truth: I felt obligated to keep Break the Grey running.

I first came up with the idea for Break the Grey when I was fifteen-years-old. The first party at Kosair Children’s Hospital was realized in 2006 when I was sixteen-years-old. With the prayers, support, encouragement, and hard work of many volunteers, Break the Grey took off. People donated time, money, toys, food, and other resources to help reach as many families as we possibly could. And we did.

Since its beginning in 2006, Break the Grey has served approximately 300 families in at least five different states. We consistently hosted two parties every year – one in Louisville, KY and one in Indianapolis, IN – from 2007-2013, with only one in 2006. We also participated in events throughout the year including fundraisers for families, walks/races to raise awareness for childhood cancer, and speaking engagements to spread childhood cancer awareness.

So why stop now?

To put it very simply: because obligation is a bad reason to keep a good thing going.

Because this is tricky business, let me continue to make a few more distinctions to try to make things a little clearer:

1.     This transition of our ministry does not signal the end of my – nor others’ – passion for children and families facing childhood cancer or other life-altering illnesses. I’m still passionate about it; I still love it. Which brings me to number two:

2.     I need personal boundaries. Many of the other nurses on 7 West raved about the Break the Grey party last year and asked why I wasn’t there. I explained the issue of professional boundaries and they all thought that Break the Grey would still be ok – the party side of it, at least. But Break the Grey was designed to be a year-round ministry, and I work with these kids and families thirty-six hours a week at minimum; I need personal boundaries so that I don’t lose my passion entirely. 

3.     Our ministry is not ending because the need has ceased to exist. There is still a very real, deep need for childhood cancer awareness and for spiritual and emotional support and encouragement for the families actively engaging the battle. This need will be there until childhood cancer is no more. But, to quote a popular song, “I tried to carry the weight of the world, but I only have two hands.”

Know that I do still very much feel called to meet the needs of families facing childhood cancer – as do many others who have volunteered with us. For a season, that was through Break the Grey. Now, for me, it is as a RN. I don’t feel like I can do both and be in a healthy place mentally and emotionally. (That’s not fair to the people that I love and who have to put up with me on a daily basis.)

One question that has been consistently raised throughout this process is why not pass the baton? Why not transfer the leadership of Break the Grey to someone else who is willing to keep it running?

Without going into too much detail and opening a whole new can of worms, this is something that our team has explored. Ultimately, we have concluded that Break the Grey was for a season, and that season is coming to an end.

With all of this said, we do ask that you continue to pray with and for us as we aim to finish strong. We want to be good stewards of the remaining resources that have so graciously been donated to Break the Grey, staying true to the donor’s original intent and Break the Grey’s mission. Please pray for wisdom and discernment as we move ahead with this process. 

I will continue to update this blog as our team makes final decisions.

Lastly, know that I – along with everyone involved with Break the Grey – am eternally thankful for you who have given, supported, encouraged, and prayed with and for us.  You have truly helped us to advance the Kingdom of God, and we are incredibly grateful for your partnership. 

Always, always, always - Hoping, Believing, and Never, Ever Giving Up,

Sarah